Oatmeal Humor



The End……or almost

So, I decided that I’m not doing this blog anymore.  At least not the way I was doing it.  Nobody really cares about how I’m feeling, or my thoughts, etc., so it’s become a waste of time.  And that’s not meant to sound dramatic, it’s just the way it is.

However, I don’t want to waste an awesome blog name like zombieunicorns, so I’m going to do something with it, just not sure what yet.  Probably something bullshitty and slightly funny, like my Tumblr.  With silly pictures and shit.  Fluff. Which is good, because who couldn’t use more fluff in their life?  Exactly.

A Hilarious Lady


This post alone had me choking on my saliva.  The rest are equally funny and bizarre.  Read it!

Album of the Day

Today is brought to you by The Suburbs by Arcade Fire.

It’s been helping me keep my sanity today, as well as a positive outlook. (Ugh.)

Cooking With Liza P.–Quinoa!

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     So, instead of having leftover Indian food, I decided I’d go with my healthy habits plan and make some quinoa and veggies.  It turned out awesome, and I felt really good about eating it, because it was chock-full of nutrients.  I just kind of threw it together, so it’s a quick recipe, apart from the veggie prep, which really doesn’t take that long.

Quinoa & Veggies with Balsamic Dressing

2 cups quinoa, uncooked

2 medium carrots, peeled and trimmed

1 small zucchini squash

1 bunch of asparagus

12 oz container of mushrooms, washed

turnip greens, 1-2 large leaves

veggie or chicken broth

Fill a large pot with 4 1/4 cups of water.  Add 2 cups quinoa, and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat, cover and simmer 5 minutes.  Turn off heat, and let pan sit, covered until you’re ready to use the quinoa.  Put a Tbsp of olive oil or butter in a pan over medium heat.  Slice the mushrooms and add to the pan.  Trim the ends of the asparagus and slice into inch long pieces–toss in the pan, cook a few minutes.  Use a clean veggie peeler to peel of small strips of carrot–do this for both carrots, and add to the pan.  Cook a few minutes.  Slice the zucchini squash thinly, and add to the pan–cook a few minutes.  Cut the rib out of the turnip green, then slice each half of the leaf into 2 long strips.  Stack on top of each other, and cut into strips, about 1/4 inch wide.  Add these to the pan, and cook about a minute.  During all this cooking, if the pan gets dry or the veggies start to stick, you can a little bit of veggie or chicken broth.  Remove from heat and stir in 1/2 cup or so of balsamic salad dressing–I like to use Paul Newman’s.  Dish out the quinoa, season with a little salt and pepper, and top with the balsamic veggies.

New Year’s Resolutions (not really)


This is a fantastic blog post about eating habits and how to change them in the new year.  I read through the first half (so far) and I really can relate to this woman and her habits.  I do cook a lot more often than she does, and I make stuff from scratch more often than not, but my bad habits when I slack off are exactly the same.  Looking forward to more in this series over the next six weeks!

Maria Bamfoo

I don’t think this could possibly be funnier.  And now, to spend the rest of my day looking at Maria clips on Youtube.  Good day.  I say good day!

Cooking with Liza P.–Indian Food!

So, I’ve decided that every so often (translation: whenever I feel like it) I’m going to find a recipe (or two) and cook it/them for dinner, and post it here, along with pics and comments.  Original, I know.  But I need something to do, so there it is.  Tonight I decided to make Madras Chicken and Aloo Gobi.  I had some Madras chicken at the Whole Foods hot bar the last time I visited the lovely Kendra, and it was awesome!  And I always wanted to make aloo gobi, hence my choices.


The above is the recipe I used, and it turned out great.  I wish I would’ve used a better pan, because the potatoes kind of stuck, but it turned out great.


The above recipe is the one I used for the chicken–I omitted the fenugreek, because I couldn’t find any…..anywhere!  And I used curry powder instead of curry leaves.  I did grow a curry plant this summer, which I then dried, but I’m not exactly sure how that translates.   Not sure if my plant is exactly what I should be using, or if I have to order curry leaves from somewhere.  Let’s just say I grew it for fun, dilemma solved.

The chicken turned out great–I seasoned it and put it in a crockpot at about noon or so, let it cook until about 5.  Then I sauteed the onions, garlic, etc.  When the madras part was done, I poured it into the crockpot (after draining it of chicken juices!) and let it go until the rice and aloo gobi were done.  I did forget to add salt ( a continual problem for me), but I remedied that once it was done.  It tasted pretty good, and smelled amaaaaaaaaazing!  And it was really easy, and not too time-consuming.

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Meh, continued….

I’ve been mulling it over since the last post, and I think what bothers me the most is that I view this next short period of my life as the end of most things.  I’ll never be a wife again, no more babies, the end of people wanting to hang out with you because you’re not a part of a couple (and thus, a third wheel).  I feel as it’s the end of my chances.  At everything.  Which sounds rather dramatic, because I know I’m still fairly young.  But it’s just the feeling that I get: no more for me.  No more anything.  And it feels horrible, and unfair, and it sucks.  The End


I don’t get the big deal about New Year’s.  Don’t get me wrong, I used to celebrate it with my roommates, who would usually drink too much and then cry because they didn’t have anyone to kiss. But even back then, I didn’t really get it.  Maybe it used to be a bigger deal way back when, when people were unsure if they’d even make it to the new year.  But the only way I celebrated today is by buying a new pair of winter boots.  Yay.  Oh, and I ate myself sick at a Brazilian steakhouse.  My last gorging of 2010.

I don’t know whether to bother making resolutions or not……I usually don’t have the willpower to keep them.  Or I just stop caring.  I’ve just been in a very rank mood for the last few weeks.  I had a good Xmas, and things have been harmonious here lately, but I just feel like a robot.  Or like a hateful person.  I find it impossible to be happy for other people who have good things going on, or even friends who have normal lives.  And I’m not usually like that, it could be because of my raging PMS right now.  Or not.

I feel a strong need to check out for a few months and just ignore everyone I know and just curl inside myself and try to fix things.  But on some level, I feel like things won’t be fixed for a long time.  And who wants to hang out with or talk to a person who is dead inside.  Yeah, I know that sounds dramatic, but it’s a good way to describe it.  I don’t take any joy in anything anymore.  Except for the boys.  They can still make my heart melt.

But when I try to see into the future, all I see is myself, all alone, struggling to keep it together.  And then I realize, that’s what I wanted, right?  To be alone?  Yes and no. I don’t know…..maybe my strength is wavering due to all the crappy holiday cheer everyone has been putting out lately.  Maybe it’s because I hate people and I’m now realizing what a defect that is.  Or maybe because I realized that friends aren’t always what you expect–and I do know I set the bar waaay too high, which means people will always disappoint me.  Anyways, whatever it is, “meh” accurately sums up my 2010, and I am 99% positive it will be my 2011.

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